still low

I did not sleep to well last night, trying to come up with some kind of plan...after many hours of tossing and turning, I have no plan, except to just let all the shit go.

I'll go to the storage this week and get the things I want, put them in the room here, and then let the girls do the same... then it alll belongs to the dude at the storage.

What else can I do? I had so hoped to have my own house by now ~ my own life, my own ANYTHING. Instead, I'm sick, in debt with medical up to my blurry eyeballs and feeling as though I have no worth in this world at all.

**sigh**

yeah. time to throw in the towel.

off to the storage... feel like i have to get there before the office opens up, ya know?

**sigh**

Holy Doodles it's MARCH

For as many years as I have been alive, the first of March always seems to catch my unawares... odd that. I must have this block about the fact that FebRUary operates with fewer days than the rest of the months.

So, this month is a long and nasty one here in the PNW. It all begins with some idiot decided to put Daylight savings time a month earlier than it was before...

I seriously dislike the flip to daylight savings, it really fouls up my internal body clock. It takes an already impossible situation and makes it into a nearly intolerably situation...

**sigh** in other words, I can barely get up on time these days, let alone being able to crank my backside out of bed an hour EARLIER.

thanks Ben and company ~ me and the cows in Indiana will just stay on regular time, thank you very much!

:p

**sigh**

I am hoping that March adds good things to my life ~ like a decent job, the sale of my excess things so that I can pay my mom back, and a place to go that I will be happier, and get my health back... if I ever can. At the rate I am going, I am beginning to become concerned ~ I feel worse every day. Weird how I get used to it, then only think about going back to the doctors that I can't pay to see if they can do anything else...

**shrug** my girls don't need me, they have one another, so I do not think that to many people would miss me ... at all. So, if I give up and go under, no one will be hurt, eh?

I'm serious. No one wants me. sucks, but hey, I'll learn to live with it someday.

**sigh**

off to sort and get rid of things.

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