cranky

I must be extra tired or something, cuz I feel very cranky. After I feed the horses this morning I am going to go back to bed!

would that I could...

I didn't do much yesterday, just helped my sister finish the fence here at my moms house, then I shoveled poo for Mr Shitzalot, and spread some straw on the worst of the wet spots. I was going to spread some in the stall itself, but I am going to wait and see what he does with the straw that is out in the yard. I THINK he has it figured to poop in the straw... If my theory proves out, I will have to find something else for "bedding" in the stall area. Currently it is just dry dusty earth ~ but it sucks the extra moisture out of his hoof and frog, so... it is okay for now.

It is odd that I do not mind doing things for my critters, but I hate doing things for people. I kinda figure that this is because critters don't hurt my feelings, nor my psyche intentionally ~ like people do. I find myself drawing inside me, and not wanting to come out. Of the jobs that I can do, most of them involve customer service of some kind, meaning people contact, and the stupidity that comes with that...

Humans are (by and large) self centered, and I find that pretty much all I come across think that they deserve my best efforts without ever saying thank you, or screw you for that matter... to most, I am a non entity... there for decoration and to whine at about how bad their husband treats them.

**sigh**

I do NOT want to work in anything that has to do with the public right now ~ I want to work behind the scenes, in a cubical somewhere, where I can get paid, and be under appreciated by the company without having to be noticeably treated like crap all the time.

**sigh**

I find myself wanting to hide from the world, and everyone in it.

**shrug**

went out with a gentleman I have known since we were kids together in the first grade... I was hugely disappointed when at the end of the night, he wanted to come in... for the night!

Safe to say I will not go out on date anyone from here anymore! Only once did I have fun with anyone on a date ~ that person didn't want to come in, didn't want a kiss on the first date ~ I didn't kiss him for an entire month of dates, and when we did, it was on a rock in the middle of noplace, with just the horses lookin' on ~ actually, the horses didn't give a crap, they were eating new grass...

Sadly, he lives in Maine now. (i.e. he isn't from here...)

so...yeah.

It is about time to go feed the ponies ~ they do not get to get out until this afternoon today, the vet is coming at noon ~ or one thirty, I don't know which.

As I read back through this for mistakes, all I see is the cynicism that is taking over my life...

bad news.

**sigh**

I think I need more coffee...