OOPS

Lost a day. That is the "fun" of having CFS... some days go past you in a complete and total fog, and you wake up on the other side of next week wondering what you did that could compromise your reputation...

**sigh** would that I could do something to compromise myself. At least then I would have the energy to do something (read: anything) else!

Did not go to the doctor, I can not bring myself to do it. I owe so much money now, and yes, I am going to have to bankrupt on it, but... until I can actually SEE the paperwork that says I am filing, I stress VERY badly about the money. It is not just the clinic here in town, it is the big one in the city also. It makes me NUTZ.

The ex is going to be in for a surprise when the papers finally go through. Many of the bills should have been paid by him (per divorce decree) and here in Washington State both parents are responsible ~ if I go under on them, then the ones that pertain to the girls will come back to haunt him. **shrug** it is soooo not my problem. He should have done something with them instead of putting them in the junk because they came from me.

Yesterday sucked, t2k called to inform me that she would not be over here for Christmas. While I do not mind that she will not be here, (family feud)I don't not like how she informed me... and yes, it hurt my feelings. It would have been far kinder to tell me ages ago that she was considering staying at her dads this year, and that she would let me know when she had decided. But NO. We have to drop this shit on mom at the last minute and it is up to mom to conform and accept and fuck how mom feels...

Oh whatever... welcome to motherhood of teenagers that are the typical self centered that were treated like all their friends at the expense of my health...spoiled rotten rich little shits...

Yes, it really is all my own fault, ya know?

Still, I am thinking about changing my phone number, and NOT giving it out to them, pretending to be busy when they call, and all that...

**sigh** no, I won't. But it is DAMNED tempting.

come on vig, time to go put the horses out in the field for the day.

:*