Late start

Some days, it is just SO hard to get myself moving ~ today is one of "those" days. It is gray, with the smog cover... OOPS... I mean "inversion layer" is hanging right at the top of the mountains about the valley ~ there is no escape from it. It makes me feel tired, and grumpy, and irritated at anyone sharing the same air space that I am. I am thinking very seriously of driving out to the basin to see if there is some way of finding the light...

t2k (the second kid) is here, I do not know for how long. I like having her here, and this time it will be easier as she has her own "room" ~ my mom is in "shift" mode, and there was space to put a bed in the loft above the bedroom my mom uses. We need to paint the walls, my moms' taste in paint can be pretty bad.

Currently, it is this hideous pink color ~ BRIGHT pink that mom calls "Irish" pink ~ it is nearly neon actually. We can get her bed out of storage to make it better too. :) I am using her dresser, so... guess I need to scrounge my own up ~ again out of storage.

It is hard in some ways having her here. I am trying to figure ME out, the me without any one around, the me that is just me, without any extensions, to figure me in the next phase of my life...and then part of the phase that left comes back to live with me. The LAST thing I want to do is go back to being ... what? just the mom? Being the mom was a huge part of what I was, it was what I did...

BAH! how do I keep the "me" going, and not lose it all back to being "just the mom"???

ARRRRGHH!

How do I do both? Am I capable of doing both?

**sigh** Life is hard enough without having to work so hard, ya know??

SHEES!

Come on viggo, I need more coffee, lets go support the corporate world that has messed up our world so badly...

eyp. We are going to Starbucks.

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