25 Signs That You Have Grown Up.

1. Your house plants are alive,
  and you can't smoke any of them.    

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.    

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.    

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.    

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.    

6. You watch the Weather Channel.    

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of
"hook up" and "break up."    

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.    

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify
as "dressed up."    

10. You're the one calling the police because those FUCKING
kids next door won't turn down the stereo.    

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling
sex jokes around you.    

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.    

13. Your car insurance goes down
and your car payments go up.    

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of
McDonald's leftovers.    

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.    

16. You take naps.    

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead
of the beginning of  one.    

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset
rather than settle your stomach.    

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid,
not condoms and pregnancy tests.    

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."    

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.    

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces
"I'm never going to drink that much again."    

23. 90% of the time you spend in front
  of a computer is for real work.    

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.    

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"