cranky

well, for one thing, it is really hot here right now, and I do not do well in the heat. It makes me cranky...

**sigh**

I hurt everywhere again, it is the usual problem I have when the stupid flare ups happen... I'm fine when I'm busy, but if I am too busy I get 0verly tired, and then everything is so much worse ~ I feel out of control, I want to yell scream and maim myself...

dammit.

I feel like ranting about the unfairness of life, about my life being forever altered by something I have no control over, by something I did not do anything to deserve...

so where the fuck is the sense in doing that?

there isn't any. not a lick of it. I can't change it. I can't even control it... I'm at the whim and mercy of tide of crap that doesn't follow any cycle ~ at least not a regular one.

Life sucks, you cry, and you move on.

I have a hard time because I feel better for awhile, and about the time I forget that I am "sick" I get slapped, and slapped HARD. I fall down, and I can't get up ~

**sigh**

yeah, I'm whining again.

sorry.

so...

Life sucked today, and now I am going to cry... and after I get some sleep, I'll move on.

~:-(