Fabric and a bit of stuffing

This morning I woke up at 6 ~ and managed to crank my backside out of bed by 7. This change shit is so HARD to do!!! I just wanted to stay cocooned in the warmth of my big quilt, the single relic from my marriage to the girls dad.

I LOVE my quilt, nearly as much as I hated being married to the S.D. (Sperm Donor ~ the girls father)

I took a few moments just now to look through the few things I have here at the house (most of my things are in storage) and there really is nothing that is from my marriage. None of my clothes, none of my furniture, no lights, no phone, no motor car...Nothing.

Everything that I have here is what I had before I married T.D. ("Their Dad") or things that I have acquired since we split up.

I certainly did not actually PLAN to get rid of things, and I can honestly claim that the purge of "ours" was not intentional.

The one exception to the total disappearance of the "us" is my quilt. The youngest two girls were conceived under it, it moved from coast to coast with me, and after T.D split our family up, it kept me warm on the bathroom floor where I would go every night ~ to cry alone and as quietly as I could for many weeks thereafter. I remember falling asleep on the rug in front of the bathtub, wrapped in my cocoon of darkness ~ exhausted in every fiber of my being, not knowing if I had what it took to do it all over again when daylight came...

yeah. I love my quilt, it is big enough to be a pillow, a mattress and still have enough left over to do its' intended function of keeping me warm.

Fabric and a bit of stuffing ~ I think I will to go crawl under it, I really kinda need a hug from an old friend right now.

:*