I'm up! I'm UP!!!!

I Love my animals, but sometimes... DANG! This morning they MADE me get up, quite literally. I wasn't even late or anything ~

**heh** can't complain about my children, so I complain about my animals instead. Sometimes, I boggle my own self, ya know?

Lets see... I've begun a story (points at link to the left of screen ... over there!) and I am the main person in it ~ I do not know of any other way to let all this crap I carry about with out. Not without this blog becoming a whining icky place to read...

SO! **cringe** In conjunction with my posts here, I am going to write a fictitious account (using real facts and feelings) of how things work in my life... and I do not know for sure where exactly it will go.

As with all things in my life, it is a work in progress, I'll try not to make it too sappy, or ... whatever other words that mean stupid.

It is a gorgeous day here today, the sun helps everything that is wrong with me. I know I am getting depressed, because it is hard to function at all sometimes. The old body is getting to the point where it just wants to sleep ~ which in itself is okay, but the bills do not get paid by my sleeping. ( you know, I DO wish that I could get paid while I sleep!) I got three turn down emails this week alone... and I am now behind in EVERYTHING I owe anything on. I need to go to a doctor, and be under SOME kind of continual care, but all I do is run up another bill I can not pay. The local clinic is so bad with that ~ now all the receptionists do is have the doctors call me...

**sigh** so... meanwhile, I get worse and worse, and no one seems to give a rats patooie.

No wonder I get depressed, eh?

I have pretty much decided that I am going to go bankrupt on it all, and let the chips fall where they may. Sadly, in Washington State, I have to go through credit counselling before I can even FILE for bankruptcy ~ so, I shall begin that process as soon as possible. Means finding/getting copies of all my outstanding medical bills, and I HATE talking to the people at the various offices. They are NOT nice about any of this, and though part of me understands, the other part can not help but think that they are being un-necessarily assholish. (is that a word?) I am NOT doing these things on purpose. Nor did I not have a plan...

Plans have a way of getting screwed up, ya know?

so...

off to write the first page of my story.

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