Loser

It is Monday afternoon out here in the west. I have been sitting on my backside most of the day, and the time I am not sitting, I have been asleep.

GUESS WHAT??

I have developed a migraine. I am never sure if it is the stress, the over work, or the lack of coffee when they hit like this ~ this time though, I am sure it is all three. Though I did run out of coffee three days ago? I thought I would have had a high blood to caffeine ratio by now? **shrug** guess I was wrong.

To tired to do anything ~ noise hurts, moving hurts, eating hurts, swallowing hurts...

I did manage to feed Bud this morning, and my landlady at the barn is going to put him out for the afternoon. I hope to feel good enough to go over and put him back in for the night ~ LL doesn't have to do that! She is so sweet.

I'd love to move away from here I think. I do not have any ties to the valley anymore now that t2 and t3 are not in school here. I had thought about working for one of the local ski areas for the winter, but... I do not want to, not really. Both are "to young" for me ~ meaning I am to old for them as a "new" employee.

Was turned down for an job because I am "to experienced" ~ BULLSHIT. I won't give anyone my resume again it shows the gaps that were filled by motherhood, sudden illness, sudden single motherhood, and then teenage angst...

**sigh**

Okay, so THAT train of thought is depressing, eh? Everything I went through, I now have NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT, and am STILL stuck in the shithole someone else dug.

**shrug**

sleep looks pretty good. Oblivion from the loserness that I feel right now.

**sigh** yeah, the loser will still be here when I wake up, but maybe I can deal with her better when my head doesn't hurt so bad, ya know?