shoulda been

Spent the day doing things that I need to do. Did not sleep last night, but I blame that on the moon ~ it was full last night, and no clouds at ALL, despite what the weather man said it would be. Once I was actually ASLEEP, my mother called and got me up at 5:30. SHE was on a plane for Detroit...but her backside was still parked at the gate at JFK in NY City ~

Everything I did today was something that I used to do with my girls. Raked the side yard, scattered the moldy (inedible) hay over the bare spots on the lawn, loaded the car to drop stuff off at the storage, made plans for moving things about in the storage...

ALL of that I would have had company and help with ~ Without the girls, I was lonely, and kept wanting to quit because of it. I do not understand why I felt that way, the "normal" feeling would have been to have everyone just "GET OUT OF MY STINKIN' WAY!!!" ... it should have been better today, without having the closed in and "OMG I could do this better alone" feeling ~ thing ~ thoughts.

Wasn't better. It was awful.

**sigh**

I'm going to bed.