Positive Attitudes are a pain sometimes....

Today is honestly Sunday, but it is my Saturday. That being, I get to tear about like a mad woman and try to get a ton of things done... I am pretty sure that I will settle for getting some things done, ya know?

Listening to Pandora Radio (<<-- see the links on the left there) feeling a bit guitarish this morning. I have a nice guitar, though I can not remember how to play it really. If I pick it up, my fingers sometimes will do things on their own ~ its fun, but weird at the same time.

Been over to feed Budman and his cronies, we've a bale of nearly straight alfalfa ~ they were happily munching it when I left.

Kitties are sitting in the window watching the crazy dogs go running by while pulling their people. 'Tis a beautiful day out there today, typical of fall and not middle summer, and I've been able to leave the windows open this morning. As it is Sunday for reals, the car traffic is not as high as normal ~ tolerable noise levels there.

With only one more week of work with the theater, I am getting that funny feeling of worthlessness again. It is in the pit of my stomach, churning up the acids, making it a chore to eat, and brain numbingly terrifiying. It is hard to not be wanted for anything, ya know? It is harder to know that I can not really pay my own way in this world despite all the things I try to do. Sometimes, quite honestly, it comes down to the "why the hell do I even try" feeling, and it is hard not to give up.

So, with this thought in the back of my head, I know that I must try very hard not to give up to soon... have not give in yet, and the bills just keep piling up, and my health just keeps going to hell... but I can at least have a positive attitude about it all, right?

Right.

**sigh**