It is Friday morning, AND it is the last Friday of January of the onliest month of January in the year 2009.
Whoa! Already even...my sense of time is not any better, even though I've a child here at home again.
Not that having a sense of time is worth anything, eh?
Today is full of the nitpicky things that I have not gotten to since the Monday before last ~ the Monday that the kid arrived here. Though the laundry is clean, I have been living out of the basket mostly... I poured the clean out onto the bed so I could put the dirty clothes thingamajig to the use it was intended, and now all three cats are sleeping in the clothes.
**sigh**
I'm tired, and the meds that the "they" in my world have me on are making funny things happen ~ I can't tell where my limbs are. I do not want to drive for fear I will do something beyond the normal, like reach for my water bottle, and strip the car out of gear.
Sadly, that means a trip to the city with my mom driving, and then I will ride home on the bus.
What a way to waste the day!
I don't think that I am being treated for the right things, ya know? I am mildly concerned about it actually, I do not know what do to though ~ until I am falling down dead, I do not think that anyone will care what happens within me.
I've fed the horses and put them out, they are all bored past their ability to cope. Bud is chewing trees, fences, and everything else ~ the crib stop things I have tried seem to have made him worse. If he were not so important to me, I'd sell him ~ and pay some bills!
**sigh** I am down to my last 24 bucks ~ and I am going to shut the phone off tomorrow ~ do not know how I am going to get work without a phone, but I am sure going to have to try. Food is going to be an issue soon also ~ My ex husband was on me yesterday about NOT using the child support money for myself, which I have never done anyways, so **shrug** that is a whatever there ~ just because he puts himself first doesn't mean I do.
LOL! and he had the balls to say that I SHOULD put me first... I don't know what he thinks is going on, but I actually laughed at him when he said that.
This is the man that thinks having a relationship with his daughters means sitting about and playing video games with them... that seems to be the extent of what he and t2k did for together time... she says it was better than nothing, but when it came time to talk, all he did was try to tell her how to fix her problems ~ never actually listened all the way through a single conversation without saying "here's what you need to do..."
yes, yes... he is an idiot.
Speaking of idiot, I do have to call him today.
Oh yay, that really really makes my day... :p
So now, I am going to take a nap, and leave with a recommendation.
Go over and look at Sky Watch Friday ~ the pictures are gorgeous, and it will take you on a mini trip around the world.
Come get me viggo, it is time for our honeymoon...
**sigh**
:*
30 January 2009
28 January 2009
two thirty
It has been a beautiful sunny day here today, and all my kitties are sleeping in patches of sunlight ~ which is about all fade as the sun has reached the west edge of our valley, already.
The day has flown past without my doing anything at all...
**sigh**
mildly irritating in many respects, but as of this very moment, I am really okay with it.
This time anyways. It really just seems like the past 10 days or so have been absolutely rushful (is that a word??) and maxed out in craziness to an extreme level ~ I'm busy busy busy and not going anywhere, or doing anything.
I shall be happy to have some kind of respite tonight when bedtime rolls around.
now, if viggo were only real, and I had him to cuddle up with tonight... **sigh**
ah well. Someday maybe, eh?
we've a bit of new snow again, nothing serious ~ we need some more serious snow to make it through the summer this year. we have so many people living in this little valley that do not fully realize what it is like to not have enough water ~ many of them, if not most, came after the big fires of 1994.
(scroll down, it is toward the bottom)
Lets see...
now it is time to run off and do something fun ~ movie, or maybe trip to the WalMart.
Come on viggo, lets go feed the horses early so we can go to the movies tonight!
:*
The day has flown past without my doing anything at all...
**sigh**
mildly irritating in many respects, but as of this very moment, I am really okay with it.
This time anyways. It really just seems like the past 10 days or so have been absolutely rushful (is that a word??) and maxed out in craziness to an extreme level ~ I'm busy busy busy and not going anywhere, or doing anything.
I shall be happy to have some kind of respite tonight when bedtime rolls around.
now, if viggo were only real, and I had him to cuddle up with tonight... **sigh**
ah well. Someday maybe, eh?
we've a bit of new snow again, nothing serious ~ we need some more serious snow to make it through the summer this year. we have so many people living in this little valley that do not fully realize what it is like to not have enough water ~ many of them, if not most, came after the big fires of 1994.
(scroll down, it is toward the bottom)
Lets see...
now it is time to run off and do something fun ~ movie, or maybe trip to the WalMart.
Come on viggo, lets go feed the horses early so we can go to the movies tonight!
:*
27 January 2009
tuesday, day 27 of 365, the year of 2009
Got up this morning at a later hour, and now, am thinking of the things that must be done. I've work to apply for, things to get settled, and I am not feeling to bad today.
While I hope it is the beta blockers regulating my heart that the doc screwed up by giving me a drug I am allergic too, and not calling me back to tell me that I needed to go to the ER, thereby most likely damaging my heart...
I do not count on that. I think it has everything to do with my age/hormones.
You know how hard it is for doctors to admit that hormones play a HUGE part in the lives of women?
I am quite sure that I am going to try to go back to school again ~ While I loved my geek work (network technician) training ~ it is more in my nature to raise things. I love to grow stuff, things, animals and people, followed closely by creating things and stuff. SO!!
kind of makes sense to check into becoming a farmer type person.
:)
Snowing gently here, we will not get any accumulation of any kind though. The clouds with the white stuff are all passing south of me.
I've posted a new picture of The Budman... he posed so well for us yesterday.
I have discovered that I hate filling out paperwork. I hate writing down stuff ~ it makes my life look so bland and ill looking ~ like I've done so very little in 50 years.
Which is sooo not true.
**sigh**
so viggo, lets go have coffee...I am sooo draggin' butt.
:*
While I hope it is the beta blockers regulating my heart that the doc screwed up by giving me a drug I am allergic too, and not calling me back to tell me that I needed to go to the ER, thereby most likely damaging my heart...
I do not count on that. I think it has everything to do with my age/hormones.
You know how hard it is for doctors to admit that hormones play a HUGE part in the lives of women?
I am quite sure that I am going to try to go back to school again ~ While I loved my geek work (network technician) training ~ it is more in my nature to raise things. I love to grow stuff, things, animals and people, followed closely by creating things and stuff. SO!!
kind of makes sense to check into becoming a farmer type person.
:)
Snowing gently here, we will not get any accumulation of any kind though. The clouds with the white stuff are all passing south of me.
I've posted a new picture of The Budman... he posed so well for us yesterday.
I have discovered that I hate filling out paperwork. I hate writing down stuff ~ it makes my life look so bland and ill looking ~ like I've done so very little in 50 years.
Which is sooo not true.
**sigh**
so viggo, lets go have coffee...I am sooo draggin' butt.
:*
26 January 2009
half done is well begun...
Or something like that. :) The day is half over, and I am just now getting the internet stuff ~ weird how I got used to pretty much having all the time in the world to do what I wanted to do... now that one of the girls is here, it seems so busy.
Busy can be good, but I'd kind of like a job to be busy at...
**sigh**
Received yet another nice turn down email. So personal dontcha know! :p
It is gorgeous outside today, and that has made me feel a whole lot better about everything. It is cold, in the single digits, but that is alright with me, as long as I can see and kind of feel the power of the sun. I hope this stays for a bit, though we do need more snow ~
Big R ranch store carries the most excellent of jerkys' ~ by World Kitchens ~ very lovely and tasty stuff. It is not hard and nasty, and somehow, they keep it from being to salty.
You know, it feels kind of crazy how much I missed the girls at the beginning of the school year. I would cry myself to sleep some nights, because I felt so lost. I didn't want to wake up in the mornings because there would only be my mother to talk to ~ More often than not, I would get up at five just so I could run across to feed Budman without ever seeing my mom... Thank God I had Bud, or I might never have gotten out of bed, EVER. Very strange how things work, eh? I did not know what was coming down the pike, yet I bought Bud anyways.
SO!!! yeah. God is pretty good to me.
T2k is ready for the cable to the 'net...
Come on viggo ~ bundle up. We are goin' for a walk.
:*
Busy can be good, but I'd kind of like a job to be busy at...
**sigh**
Received yet another nice turn down email. So personal dontcha know! :p
It is gorgeous outside today, and that has made me feel a whole lot better about everything. It is cold, in the single digits, but that is alright with me, as long as I can see and kind of feel the power of the sun. I hope this stays for a bit, though we do need more snow ~
Big R ranch store carries the most excellent of jerkys' ~ by World Kitchens ~ very lovely and tasty stuff. It is not hard and nasty, and somehow, they keep it from being to salty.
You know, it feels kind of crazy how much I missed the girls at the beginning of the school year. I would cry myself to sleep some nights, because I felt so lost. I didn't want to wake up in the mornings because there would only be my mother to talk to ~ More often than not, I would get up at five just so I could run across to feed Budman without ever seeing my mom... Thank God I had Bud, or I might never have gotten out of bed, EVER. Very strange how things work, eh? I did not know what was coming down the pike, yet I bought Bud anyways.
SO!!! yeah. God is pretty good to me.
T2k is ready for the cable to the 'net...
Come on viggo ~ bundle up. We are goin' for a walk.
:*
25 January 2009
Day 25 of the year 2009
Today is my brothers 46th birthday.
Today I already ran aground with my mom ~ I threw out something she'd left sitting about... I am SOOOO not eating whatever she cooks today.
Done the fish tanks, done the horse, want to run away ~
**sigh**
Today, I stretched out before I began my day, doing TWO sun salutes... felt good, but MAN am I tight. I will get better, today is just the first day.
BP was high this morning, I may have to go back to the full dose of the betagunk. **sigh**
Woke up to snow this morning... just enough to cover the dirty spots up. I hope we get more, and soon.
Gots to figure out the router so the kid and I can both use the internet at the same time.
:)
off to do...something.
:*
Today I already ran aground with my mom ~ I threw out something she'd left sitting about... I am SOOOO not eating whatever she cooks today.
Done the fish tanks, done the horse, want to run away ~
**sigh**
Today, I stretched out before I began my day, doing TWO sun salutes... felt good, but MAN am I tight. I will get better, today is just the first day.
BP was high this morning, I may have to go back to the full dose of the betagunk. **sigh**
Woke up to snow this morning... just enough to cover the dirty spots up. I hope we get more, and soon.
Gots to figure out the router so the kid and I can both use the internet at the same time.
:)
off to do...something.
:*
24 January 2009
Drat!
I missed skywatch Friday this week. **sigh**
I am just behind on everything now ~ my only defense is that I am adjusting to having t2k here, and new meds (that are NOT agreeing with one another, and therefore me) and... eyah.
SO!
Today I am going to run to the storage, and try to begin a plan for that. The ex is now supposedly moneyless, and with even Microsoft laying off people, he most likely will stay that way for some time. I need to get the storage cleaned out, and get it down to just ONE ~ I have been bad about doing it, and I suppose now is the time to get on the schtick.
M'kay. Kid needs the internet connection... I am out of here.
Sharing is not fun sometimes. **sigh**
I feel like I am about three years old, and someone has taken a toy away from me...
come on viggo, we're making a trip to the storage.
Bring a blanket so we can take a nap, k?
:*
I am just behind on everything now ~ my only defense is that I am adjusting to having t2k here, and new meds (that are NOT agreeing with one another, and therefore me) and... eyah.
SO!
Today I am going to run to the storage, and try to begin a plan for that. The ex is now supposedly moneyless, and with even Microsoft laying off people, he most likely will stay that way for some time. I need to get the storage cleaned out, and get it down to just ONE ~ I have been bad about doing it, and I suppose now is the time to get on the schtick.
M'kay. Kid needs the internet connection... I am out of here.
Sharing is not fun sometimes. **sigh**
I feel like I am about three years old, and someone has taken a toy away from me...
come on viggo, we're making a trip to the storage.
Bring a blanket so we can take a nap, k?
:*
22 January 2009
Late start
Some days, it is just SO hard to get myself moving ~ today is one of "those" days. It is gray, with the smog cover... OOPS... I mean "inversion layer" is hanging right at the top of the mountains about the valley ~ there is no escape from it. It makes me feel tired, and grumpy, and irritated at anyone sharing the same air space that I am. I am thinking very seriously of driving out to the basin to see if there is some way of finding the light...
t2k (the second kid) is here, I do not know for how long. I like having her here, and this time it will be easier as she has her own "room" ~ my mom is in "shift" mode, and there was space to put a bed in the loft above the bedroom my mom uses. We need to paint the walls, my moms' taste in paint can be pretty bad.
Currently, it is this hideous pink color ~ BRIGHT pink that mom calls "Irish" pink ~ it is nearly neon actually. We can get her bed out of storage to make it better too. :) I am using her dresser, so... guess I need to scrounge my own up ~ again out of storage.
It is hard in some ways having her here. I am trying to figure ME out, the me without any one around, the me that is just me, without any extensions, to figure me in the next phase of my life...and then part of the phase that left comes back to live with me. The LAST thing I want to do is go back to being ... what? just the mom? Being the mom was a huge part of what I was, it was what I did...
BAH! how do I keep the "me" going, and not lose it all back to being "just the mom"???
ARRRRGHH!
How do I do both? Am I capable of doing both?
**sigh** Life is hard enough without having to work so hard, ya know??
SHEES!
Come on viggo, I need more coffee, lets go support the corporate world that has messed up our world so badly...
eyp. We are going to Starbucks.
:*
t2k (the second kid) is here, I do not know for how long. I like having her here, and this time it will be easier as she has her own "room" ~ my mom is in "shift" mode, and there was space to put a bed in the loft above the bedroom my mom uses. We need to paint the walls, my moms' taste in paint can be pretty bad.
Currently, it is this hideous pink color ~ BRIGHT pink that mom calls "Irish" pink ~ it is nearly neon actually. We can get her bed out of storage to make it better too. :) I am using her dresser, so... guess I need to scrounge my own up ~ again out of storage.
It is hard in some ways having her here. I am trying to figure ME out, the me without any one around, the me that is just me, without any extensions, to figure me in the next phase of my life...and then part of the phase that left comes back to live with me. The LAST thing I want to do is go back to being ... what? just the mom? Being the mom was a huge part of what I was, it was what I did...
BAH! how do I keep the "me" going, and not lose it all back to being "just the mom"???
ARRRRGHH!
How do I do both? Am I capable of doing both?
**sigh** Life is hard enough without having to work so hard, ya know??
SHEES!
Come on viggo, I need more coffee, lets go support the corporate world that has messed up our world so badly...
eyp. We are going to Starbucks.
:*
21 January 2009
hurrah for results... (I think?)
I now have the results of all my tests. Someone screwed up and did not call... some lackey someplace could not be arsed to get to a phone.
I am doing okay, everything within "normal" but most of it in the "low normal" range. As always, my first question is... "normal for whom?" (should I say who? I stink at grammar and things) ~ so the decision was made to start a beta blocker, which will regulate the racing of my heart, lower my blood pressure, and... one other thing that I would have to re-read because I am having a brain blip right now. This, combined with something to slow the acid production in my stomach are the plan for now. I am told that I need to go back to have a couple more things looked at, but that will be after the "trial" period for the current prescriptions.
So!!! I have to take it easy today and because of a history of nasty reactions to things, and I was specifically told to take care in standing up ~ and no carrying of sharp objects. Means no running down the stairs with scissors... :D
I feel better, knowing that I am not going to die in my sleep ~ or that the beats I am alloted will not come to an end quicker.
Keep the candles burning, and yay for results, eh?
:*
20 January 2009
Pretty Cool!
I have been watching the changing of the guard at the White House ~ I am, at last feeling hopeful about the state of America. I hope that the old shite is out, and the new can actually take place, that now MY generation can take the reins and DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.
When I stop and think about it, I am amazed at the amount of history I have seen in my relatively short life time ~ the awesomeness that is happening now... wow.
To repeat myself adnauseum here... I feel hopeful after a very long time of not even wanting to think about the stupidity of the ex prez ~ sadly, change will be slow, painful, but I think it will be worth it in the long run. We have to stay the course, and go in for the long haul...
hang on everyone, we have a chance to roll.
:)
When I stop and think about it, I am amazed at the amount of history I have seen in my relatively short life time ~ the awesomeness that is happening now... wow.
To repeat myself adnauseum here... I feel hopeful after a very long time of not even wanting to think about the stupidity of the ex prez ~ sadly, change will be slow, painful, but I think it will be worth it in the long run. We have to stay the course, and go in for the long haul...
hang on everyone, we have a chance to roll.
:)
19 January 2009
off day
I had an off day yesterday ~ as in I took the day off. I didn't do anything for anyone or any animal (that did not need to be done)
Means no baths like I would normally do on Sunday afternoon, no play time, no work in the pens, no nothing.
I had an off day. :)
Just not feeling right yet I suppose ~ I've not heard from anyone about any of the tests that have been run ~ that is terribly frustrating for me. Granted, it IS charity care, so why would they care if I was going crazy with worry?
**sigh** I have grown incredibly cynical about the medical profession I'm afraid.
Der daughter woke me up at FIVE this morning. Not that I am not normally up around then, it is just so rattling to get a phone call at that hour. Nothing was wrong, except her father decided that he did not want to get up early (like he had said he would) so they were leaving Redmond around 10 this morning instead of the 8 like they had discussed.
I feel bad for her, as he has done this to her a lot ~ said one thing, then done another.
Passive agressive type thing, just like he did to me when we were still married. **sigh**
At any rate, they will be leaving about the time that they were supposed to arrive here. Which works out a bit better for me, due to the off day yesterday.
It is gray and nasty ~ with the inversion hanging on like a bad cold. The ceiling is higher now, so that helps a bit, but still ~ the constant nothing of this grayness does my head in after awhile. The longer it stays, thebitchier grumpier and more easily annoyed I get.
I wonder if weather induced PMS symptoms would hold up in a court of law? **sigh**
If anyone has no objections, I am going to get off this thing and get something done.
come on viggo, we gots stuff to do...
:*
Means no baths like I would normally do on Sunday afternoon, no play time, no work in the pens, no nothing.
I had an off day. :)
Just not feeling right yet I suppose ~ I've not heard from anyone about any of the tests that have been run ~ that is terribly frustrating for me. Granted, it IS charity care, so why would they care if I was going crazy with worry?
**sigh** I have grown incredibly cynical about the medical profession I'm afraid.
Der daughter woke me up at FIVE this morning. Not that I am not normally up around then, it is just so rattling to get a phone call at that hour. Nothing was wrong, except her father decided that he did not want to get up early (like he had said he would) so they were leaving Redmond around 10 this morning instead of the 8 like they had discussed.
I feel bad for her, as he has done this to her a lot ~ said one thing, then done another.
Passive agressive type thing, just like he did to me when we were still married. **sigh**
At any rate, they will be leaving about the time that they were supposed to arrive here. Which works out a bit better for me, due to the off day yesterday.
It is gray and nasty ~ with the inversion hanging on like a bad cold. The ceiling is higher now, so that helps a bit, but still ~ the constant nothing of this grayness does my head in after awhile. The longer it stays, the
I wonder if weather induced PMS symptoms would hold up in a court of law? **sigh**
If anyone has no objections, I am going to get off this thing and get something done.
come on viggo, we gots stuff to do...
:*
17 January 2009
**YAWN**
seems like I have been up forever...guess I actually have. I got up at 5 a.m ~ again. Not a single idea why, I was awake, so up I was.
heh... yoda speak.
It is still foggy outside, turning slowly to being smoggy. I personally try not to contribute to the stuff, but my mom has been home less than half an hour, and she has a fire going. While it is not illegal, it is just plain stupid...
**sigh** Guess I am stuck with such things until I can afford to move away, eh?
No word from the four jobs I applied for this week ~ though I did get four "you are not what we need right now" letters. I never even talked to a human at any of those, it was all done over the internet. It sucks that everything is now so impersonal ~ I hope they hire the most qualified person out there for those jobs, only to find that they suck as humans...
Grrrr... yes. grr. I am having one of those days where I feel... vengeful? (ha! the speel chek says that is a word!) ~
Just in case I do not get a real job soon, I've a line of things waiting to be sold ~ of course, they have been up for sale since this time last month, and no one seems to want them...
Man, this entry is making me worse.
So... Off to do something else. I've some sewing to do.
:*
heh... yoda speak.
It is still foggy outside, turning slowly to being smoggy. I personally try not to contribute to the stuff, but my mom has been home less than half an hour, and she has a fire going. While it is not illegal, it is just plain stupid...
**sigh** Guess I am stuck with such things until I can afford to move away, eh?
No word from the four jobs I applied for this week ~ though I did get four "you are not what we need right now" letters. I never even talked to a human at any of those, it was all done over the internet. It sucks that everything is now so impersonal ~ I hope they hire the most qualified person out there for those jobs, only to find that they suck as humans...
Grrrr... yes. grr. I am having one of those days where I feel... vengeful? (ha! the speel chek says that is a word!) ~
Just in case I do not get a real job soon, I've a line of things waiting to be sold ~ of course, they have been up for sale since this time last month, and no one seems to want them...
Man, this entry is making me worse.
So... Off to do something else. I've some sewing to do.
:*
16 January 2009
it is FRIDAY, that means SKYWATCH!!
It is the day of Fri ~
I've done a lot this week, and I am feeling better. I'm tired, but not because I haven't slept ~ the mold is out of hand, and I took a benedryl last night ~ the drowsy kind. I have a bit of a hangover from it ~
**yawn** it makes me rummy. I have to look at the bottle tonight and be sure that I get the non-drowsy kind.
My coffee tastes off this morning, and I KNOW why...
never send a non coffee drinker to the store for ANYTHING.
I asked my mom to get me some half and half ~ not a big deal, right?
Nope... BUT!! she brought me home FAT FREE half and half...
So. I am having very expensive Non fat milk in my coffee this morning.
ick.
off to put the horses out for the day, scoop some poo and try not to get in a funk from the grayness that is the day here in good ole Washington.
I leave you with Skywatch Friday... Go look at it, there are some amazing pictures.
I've done a lot this week, and I am feeling better. I'm tired, but not because I haven't slept ~ the mold is out of hand, and I took a benedryl last night ~ the drowsy kind. I have a bit of a hangover from it ~
**yawn** it makes me rummy. I have to look at the bottle tonight and be sure that I get the non-drowsy kind.
My coffee tastes off this morning, and I KNOW why...
never send a non coffee drinker to the store for ANYTHING.
I asked my mom to get me some half and half ~ not a big deal, right?
Nope... BUT!! she brought me home FAT FREE half and half...
So. I am having very expensive Non fat milk in my coffee this morning.
ick.
off to put the horses out for the day, scoop some poo and try not to get in a funk from the grayness that is the day here in good ole Washington.
I leave you with Skywatch Friday... Go look at it, there are some amazing pictures.
14 January 2009
Now, I wait
Done with the vampire lady (phlebotomist) and now, I wait.
Silly blogger doesn't like contractions, and the words that describe what folks does.
and my auto-save feature on this failed.
now my day is alll sorts of bad... ;)
actually, I hate being late with my breakfast, it puts me in fast forward for the rest of the day...
**sigh**
off to carry my horse some wheres to burn off all the excess energy. He only weighs in at 1800 pounds...I'm pretty sure I can pull it off...
heh
:*
Silly blogger doesn't like contractions, and the words that describe what folks does.
and my auto-save feature on this failed.
now my day is alll sorts of bad... ;)
actually, I hate being late with my breakfast, it puts me in fast forward for the rest of the day...
**sigh**
off to carry my horse some wheres to burn off all the excess energy. He only weighs in at 1800 pounds...I'm pretty sure I can pull it off...
heh
:*
ARGH
arg.
Fasting until I can get a blood draw ~ which I will do right after feeding the Budman this morning.
I have 45 minutes to go.
My routine is alll kinds of messed up, and I am becoming very grumpy because of it.
Is so not fair that they do not open the clinic until 8 ~ they should show some consideration for those of us that have to EAT to keep their stomachs from eating themselves...
**sigh** potential ulcer patients should be warned about such stuff. :p
not to sure about the stress test yet, initial scan says it is fine... yay!! :) I see my own doc on Saturday to see for sure.
AH!!! down to 43 minutes...
Fasting until I can get a blood draw ~ which I will do right after feeding the Budman this morning.
I have 45 minutes to go.
My routine is alll kinds of messed up, and I am becoming very grumpy because of it.
Is so not fair that they do not open the clinic until 8 ~ they should show some consideration for those of us that have to EAT to keep their stomachs from eating themselves...
**sigh** potential ulcer patients should be warned about such stuff. :p
not to sure about the stress test yet, initial scan says it is fine... yay!! :) I see my own doc on Saturday to see for sure.
AH!!! down to 43 minutes...
13 January 2009
Tuesday, Day 13 of 365, the year of 2009
It is very early in the morning, and I am awake... well, sort of anyways. My mom is still house sitting, so I am pretty much able to wake up with the slowness that I need, no interuptions, no pollyanna "good mornings" that are forgotten, and then resaid the next time I walk down the stairs...
sometimes, when mom does that, I find myself thinking ~ am I not important enough to be remembered for the past five minutes? Does she really look right through me? (which is true...my mom does not think to much of me, even though I am the only one that she ever has contact with)
**sigh**
then, a scarier thought takes over... I am really beginning to think that mom has some sort of dementia goin' on. When I ask her about it, she waves her hand and says things like;
"I've got to many things on my mind to think about the fact that I already saw you this morning"
or;
"I did NOT see you this morning!"
or, after a look of confusion that she simply can not hide,
"Can't I say good morning more than once??"
**sigh** I try to talk to my sister about it, but she is so in denial... and I know for a fact that if you want to have any kind of life, that you must get treatment SOON for such things. If only to slow the progression.
I do hope that mom snaps out of whatever is happening ~ I do hope that it is just the stupid way that she is dealing with her life ~ I DO have my SIL behind me though, she sees all of this too ~ Not that it does any good, as my bro just kind of sits back and waits for my older sister to do something...
**sigh**
so, this morning I go do a stress test ~ I get to walk on a treadmill while hooked up to monitors.
oh yay. With the chest pains I've been having, my blood pressure will NOT go down, and the stress levels here at the house... with that, & being fat and out of shape not withstanding, at least we will have some kind of baseline figured right? Oddly enough, (fat part) I do not over eat ~ and I am not fibbing about this. There is sommat wrong with me.
**shrug** all this on charity care... Lovely. Lets add to the worthlessness that I always feel, eh? PILE it ON, I can TAKE IT!!
:P
I have decided that I am SOOO asking for anti depressents ~ This whole thing cycles through each month (HEY look! a PATTERN) but each month it gets worse...
Top it with this whole job search thing (four turn downs yesterday alone) is really harsh on a person, especially one that is only half here to begin with. The daily struggle to figure out who/what I am, added on to the huge sense of failure that hits me with each opening of the emails...
eyah. It sucks.
Much toward the the suckage end of stuff, t2k is coming to visit me. The girls being gone is a HUGE part of what is "wrong" with me ~ Though I think she is going to be only be here two weeks, even that feels really long at this point. I mean... seriously here... do I even WANT her to be here? What exactly is she looking for?
**sigh** Guess I am going to find out, and have to figure out how to deal.
so. That is it for the morning of Tuesday, Day 13 of 365, the year of 2009.
I think I'm going to go back to bed...
update 11:09 a.m.
Passed my stress test with flying colors. :) go me!! BUT!!!
I may have asthma ~ moved hay this morning, and when I do such, I can not but help inhaling dust, alfalfa and all that...
SO!
on to the next task....
sometimes, when mom does that, I find myself thinking ~ am I not important enough to be remembered for the past five minutes? Does she really look right through me? (which is true...my mom does not think to much of me, even though I am the only one that she ever has contact with)
**sigh**
then, a scarier thought takes over... I am really beginning to think that mom has some sort of dementia goin' on. When I ask her about it, she waves her hand and says things like;
"I've got to many things on my mind to think about the fact that I already saw you this morning"
or;
"I did NOT see you this morning!"
or, after a look of confusion that she simply can not hide,
"Can't I say good morning more than once??"
**sigh** I try to talk to my sister about it, but she is so in denial... and I know for a fact that if you want to have any kind of life, that you must get treatment SOON for such things. If only to slow the progression.
I do hope that mom snaps out of whatever is happening ~ I do hope that it is just the stupid way that she is dealing with her life ~ I DO have my SIL behind me though, she sees all of this too ~ Not that it does any good, as my bro just kind of sits back and waits for my older sister to do something...
**sigh**
so, this morning I go do a stress test ~ I get to walk on a treadmill while hooked up to monitors.
oh yay. With the chest pains I've been having, my blood pressure will NOT go down, and the stress levels here at the house... with that, & being fat and out of shape not withstanding, at least we will have some kind of baseline figured right? Oddly enough, (fat part) I do not over eat ~ and I am not fibbing about this. There is sommat wrong with me.
**shrug** all this on charity care... Lovely. Lets add to the worthlessness that I always feel, eh? PILE it ON, I can TAKE IT!!
:P
I have decided that I am SOOO asking for anti depressents ~ This whole thing cycles through each month (HEY look! a PATTERN) but each month it gets worse...
Top it with this whole job search thing (four turn downs yesterday alone) is really harsh on a person, especially one that is only half here to begin with. The daily struggle to figure out who/what I am, added on to the huge sense of failure that hits me with each opening of the emails...
eyah. It sucks.
Much toward the the suckage end of stuff, t2k is coming to visit me. The girls being gone is a HUGE part of what is "wrong" with me ~ Though I think she is going to be only be here two weeks, even that feels really long at this point. I mean... seriously here... do I even WANT her to be here? What exactly is she looking for?
**sigh** Guess I am going to find out, and have to figure out how to deal.
so. That is it for the morning of Tuesday, Day 13 of 365, the year of 2009.
I think I'm going to go back to bed...
update 11:09 a.m.
Passed my stress test with flying colors. :) go me!! BUT!!!
I may have asthma ~ moved hay this morning, and when I do such, I can not but help inhaling dust, alfalfa and all that...
SO!
on to the next task....
12 January 2009
day 12! oops!
I missed day 11 ~ I did not do anything yesterday to speak of, though I did watch the television all day long. Mostly football (NFL) and then some football ~ (soccer to the yanks) ~ it was on the spanish speaking channel ~ and though I did not understand a word that was said (except GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLLLLL) I still enjoyed the games.
I undergo a stress test tomorrow, I get to walk/run on a treadmill.
Oh whee. I can tell you that this is not my heart ~ but I guess better safe than sorry. Today I am going to clean my room, run to the city, and then... sleep.
:) yes, boring. Can't lift anything right now, so everything I must do has to wait.
**sigh**
yes, I'm boring.
bored to.
:*
I undergo a stress test tomorrow, I get to walk/run on a treadmill.
Oh whee. I can tell you that this is not my heart ~ but I guess better safe than sorry. Today I am going to clean my room, run to the city, and then... sleep.
:) yes, boring. Can't lift anything right now, so everything I must do has to wait.
**sigh**
yes, I'm boring.
bored to.
:*
10 January 2009
snowin'
:) not very much though.
I did finally manage to get over to feed my own horse this morning, though I am not to sure how much he actually ate. I'm guessing that it was just his alfalfa, and the rest is just lying there. I am pretty sure that they are eating the bale that we put up in the shelter last Wednesday, when we thought the barn was going to flood.
feeling lousy, I wisht that I knew why. I am going to do a follow up today with my "own" doctor, just to see if we can work SOMETHING through here.
**sigh** I can't pay, so it is really a moot point. she won't even really listen... she is only human after all, and when someone can't pay for the goods, you do not give them much.
:p
looking for something, I've NO clue what I did with it. I live in such a whirl wind sometimes, I have to keep MY things out of my MOMS way, and occasionally, things just get misplaced.
I sooo need to move.
off to find what is lost...
:)
I did finally manage to get over to feed my own horse this morning, though I am not to sure how much he actually ate. I'm guessing that it was just his alfalfa, and the rest is just lying there. I am pretty sure that they are eating the bale that we put up in the shelter last Wednesday, when we thought the barn was going to flood.
feeling lousy, I wisht that I knew why. I am going to do a follow up today with my "own" doctor, just to see if we can work SOMETHING through here.
**sigh** I can't pay, so it is really a moot point. she won't even really listen... she is only human after all, and when someone can't pay for the goods, you do not give them much.
:p
looking for something, I've NO clue what I did with it. I live in such a whirl wind sometimes, I have to keep MY things out of my MOMS way, and occasionally, things just get misplaced.
I sooo need to move.
off to find what is lost...
:)
09 January 2009
Skywatch Friday
Skywatch Friday ~ go look at it, there are some REALLY
good photos from all over the world!!
Mine is Sleeping Lady Mountain ~ sunset is still pretty early!
good photos from all over the world!!
Mine is Sleeping Lady Mountain ~ sunset is still pretty early!
Day 9 of the year 2009
nearly noon PST ~ and I have spent the day doing all the things I have not had the energy to do in the past week(s).
Like: Laundry, vacuuming, cat box, dusting, filing, trash, cleaning the bathroom...
**sigh** I'd rather be shoveling snow. I mean, how bad can a bathroom get in just a week??
SHEES!!!
I slept in today, thanks to my barn Land Lady. :) she is a love, and her hubby is too. Bud may get fat, but he will never be without care, no matter where I am, or what I must be doing.
Animals are bothering me today, actually EVERYTHING is bothering me today. As in, STOP your FREAKING BREATHING already, it is to LOUD.
*sigh*
I do this when I am really stressed, and I must call my ex now to see if he can pay the bills he agreed to pay...the fool spent most of his money on another "get rich quick" thing instead of finding a job when he quit his other one, and he did not follow up on his unemployment (couldn't be arsed to remember) so now it is even harder, (and a lot less) to get...
the man is a total idiot.
**sigh** and I haven't the money to pay anything. HE has a masters degree, I have nothing. His health is fine, I have three major things wrong... he has health insurance, I have nothing...
which one of us do you think is employable??
yeah. Me, right? :p
**sigh**
off to look for work, and I have to call the idiot.
oh yay.
I do so wish viggo was real right now... I could so use a hug.
Like: Laundry, vacuuming, cat box, dusting, filing, trash, cleaning the bathroom...
**sigh** I'd rather be shoveling snow. I mean, how bad can a bathroom get in just a week??
SHEES!!!
I slept in today, thanks to my barn Land Lady. :) she is a love, and her hubby is too. Bud may get fat, but he will never be without care, no matter where I am, or what I must be doing.
Animals are bothering me today, actually EVERYTHING is bothering me today. As in, STOP your FREAKING BREATHING already, it is to LOUD.
*sigh*
I do this when I am really stressed, and I must call my ex now to see if he can pay the bills he agreed to pay...the fool spent most of his money on another "get rich quick" thing instead of finding a job when he quit his other one, and he did not follow up on his unemployment (couldn't be arsed to remember) so now it is even harder, (and a lot less) to get...
the man is a total idiot.
**sigh** and I haven't the money to pay anything. HE has a masters degree, I have nothing. His health is fine, I have three major things wrong... he has health insurance, I have nothing...
which one of us do you think is employable??
yeah. Me, right? :p
**sigh**
off to look for work, and I have to call the idiot.
oh yay.
I do so wish viggo was real right now... I could so use a hug.
08 January 2009
Day ... what IS today???
Can I call it or what...? I am sooo sore ~ payment is being demanded of the long hours of the past three days.
**sigh**
On an up note (it would be a screeching one) the rain DID stop here, sometime after 9 last night. Leaves me with some minor work on the driveway where my mom left divots with her truck ~ but that should not be to bad. I can see snow coming over Icicle Ridge, and the radar over at The Weather Channel shows the same. Guess I need to get on the stick.
Our thermometer says it is 41.5 ยบ F right now~give or take a few degrees. If the snow makes it down over the ridge to me, it will most likely be freezing rain.
Gots to get on I suppose, Budman is waiting ~ for what? I dunno.
**pokes viggo**
You gettin up or what there boy?
No?
Well, scoot over then. I'm coming back to bed.
:*
**sigh**
On an up note (it would be a screeching one) the rain DID stop here, sometime after 9 last night. Leaves me with some minor work on the driveway where my mom left divots with her truck ~ but that should not be to bad. I can see snow coming over Icicle Ridge, and the radar over at The Weather Channel shows the same. Guess I need to get on the stick.
Our thermometer says it is 41.5 ยบ F right now~give or take a few degrees. If the snow makes it down over the ridge to me, it will most likely be freezing rain.
Gots to get on I suppose, Budman is waiting ~ for what? I dunno.
**pokes viggo**
You gettin up or what there boy?
No?
Well, scoot over then. I'm coming back to bed.
:*
07 January 2009
and on the SEVENTH day of TWO THOUSAND NINE...
I shoveled water.
Almost makes me sound...what? Noah-ish?
I mean it quite seriously, I was literally shoveling water today. And at a pound per pint, it was not an easy thing.
It was odd. The problem is that the snow that had been in the drive soaked up about 100 times its weight of rain water ~ and then just sat there, looking very much like snow until I stepped out to go feed the horses. I sunk into the wet half way up the calf of my leg ~ I was more than pleased that I took the time to put on my muck boots before I went out.
I would have drownt my shoes. :) And I could not have EVEN gotten out of the drive way with my poor little front wheel drive. (the Ranger is off with my mom)
In case you have been wrapped up in your own weather woes and not been looking at the news, we are, yet again, being threatened with some very serious flooding. Most of Western Washington is currently under water ~ here in Eastern Washington, we are just surrounded by it, with a few of the lesser creeks beginning to top their banks.
Biggest problem is that the barn where the budman lives is in a low spot, right at a big bend in the Icicle River ~ so today to try and keep my hay, I moved said hay, putting it up about three feet in the air. All of that AFTER I shoveled the water out of our driveway ~
I am gonna hurt tomorrow.
Wa HOO. :p
At this moment it is still raining, and not supposed to stop until this time tomorrow night. I hope it stops before it gets cold so I can take the various burms and dams formed by the slush out of the way before they freeze solid ~ other wise my car may be stuck in the drive until the spring thaw.
I am hoping that the horses have the sense to move to the upper pasture if their barn gets to wet ~ My Barn LandLady will keep an eye on things, and we moved an entire bale of hay to the shed in the upper pasture to entice them up there ~ it will all be good. Last time there wasn't any snow, they do not care for the snow...
I worry so much about things, most likely will sleep very badly tonight because of the flooding.
**sigh**
Come on viggo, lets get to bed early... we may have to do horse rescue in the middle of the night!
:*
Almost makes me sound...what? Noah-ish?
I mean it quite seriously, I was literally shoveling water today. And at a pound per pint, it was not an easy thing.
It was odd. The problem is that the snow that had been in the drive soaked up about 100 times its weight of rain water ~ and then just sat there, looking very much like snow until I stepped out to go feed the horses. I sunk into the wet half way up the calf of my leg ~ I was more than pleased that I took the time to put on my muck boots before I went out.
I would have drownt my shoes. :) And I could not have EVEN gotten out of the drive way with my poor little front wheel drive. (the Ranger is off with my mom)
In case you have been wrapped up in your own weather woes and not been looking at the news, we are, yet again, being threatened with some very serious flooding. Most of Western Washington is currently under water ~ here in Eastern Washington, we are just surrounded by it, with a few of the lesser creeks beginning to top their banks.
Biggest problem is that the barn where the budman lives is in a low spot, right at a big bend in the Icicle River ~ so today to try and keep my hay, I moved said hay, putting it up about three feet in the air. All of that AFTER I shoveled the water out of our driveway ~
I am gonna hurt tomorrow.
Wa HOO. :p
At this moment it is still raining, and not supposed to stop until this time tomorrow night. I hope it stops before it gets cold so I can take the various burms and dams formed by the slush out of the way before they freeze solid ~ other wise my car may be stuck in the drive until the spring thaw.
I am hoping that the horses have the sense to move to the upper pasture if their barn gets to wet ~ My Barn LandLady will keep an eye on things, and we moved an entire bale of hay to the shed in the upper pasture to entice them up there ~ it will all be good. Last time there wasn't any snow, they do not care for the snow...
I worry so much about things, most likely will sleep very badly tonight because of the flooding.
**sigh**
Come on viggo, lets get to bed early... we may have to do horse rescue in the middle of the night!
:*
06 January 2009
day 6 of the year 2009
GUESS WHAT???
It is SNOWING again.
Who'da thunk it, eh?? It is winter after all!!!
I gotta wonder here why it did not bother me this much when I was a child?
yeah, I KNOW the answer, it is because I didn't have to shovel, push, plow, swear or anything else with it, so... yeah. I know why I didn't mind then.
And in all honesty, I do not really mind right now either, but I have to have something to complain about!
:)
Been over to feed the Budman and now must think on what to do if the predicted rain hits us full force. His barn is back a bit from a bend in the river, and in bad years, the water gets high enough to run through the middle of the barn...right where my hay is stored. There is no way to get it up into the loft either.
**sigh** I just moved it all over there because I found one of the bales was badly mildewy over here. SO!!! out of the fat, and into the fire, eh?
I do love the big man though, more than I thought possible. He's ornery, opinionated, and willing as all hell to please me all the time... would that I could find a human man that was even close.
No, not really, I just have to settle for viggo. ;) but still... I am never in a bad mood when I am around Bud. Being with him drains all the crap from whatever is bothering away. That alone is worth the 7000 bucks I am still in the hole because of him!!
No go on the ski area job (I think I forgot to blog it) though I am now in the pile. I am trying not worry about things, I know that stuff works out for the good always, and the job will come when I most need it.
**sigh** I really do not have any paitence at all ~ guess that is what I am supposed to learn.
Guess I need to hurry it up so I can get work... :p
The snow is coming down pretty heavy ~ I guess I'd better get on with what I need to do. Only one more thing to de-bury a bit, then I am good until the rain comes.
Come on viggo, out of bed. Snow waits for no one.
:*
It is SNOWING again.
Who'da thunk it, eh?? It is winter after all!!!
I gotta wonder here why it did not bother me this much when I was a child?
yeah, I KNOW the answer, it is because I didn't have to shovel, push, plow, swear or anything else with it, so... yeah. I know why I didn't mind then.
And in all honesty, I do not really mind right now either, but I have to have something to complain about!
:)
Been over to feed the Budman and now must think on what to do if the predicted rain hits us full force. His barn is back a bit from a bend in the river, and in bad years, the water gets high enough to run through the middle of the barn...right where my hay is stored. There is no way to get it up into the loft either.
**sigh** I just moved it all over there because I found one of the bales was badly mildewy over here. SO!!! out of the fat, and into the fire, eh?
I do love the big man though, more than I thought possible. He's ornery, opinionated, and willing as all hell to please me all the time... would that I could find a human man that was even close.
No, not really, I just have to settle for viggo. ;) but still... I am never in a bad mood when I am around Bud. Being with him drains all the crap from whatever is bothering away. That alone is worth the 7000 bucks I am still in the hole because of him!!
No go on the ski area job (I think I forgot to blog it) though I am now in the pile. I am trying not worry about things, I know that stuff works out for the good always, and the job will come when I most need it.
**sigh** I really do not have any paitence at all ~ guess that is what I am supposed to learn.
Guess I need to hurry it up so I can get work... :p
The snow is coming down pretty heavy ~ I guess I'd better get on with what I need to do. Only one more thing to de-bury a bit, then I am good until the rain comes.
Come on viggo, out of bed. Snow waits for no one.
:*
05 January 2009
the fifth day of 2009
I am resting from all the shoveling I have already done ~ and I am sooo not done. Had to have breakfast though, ya know?
Woke up to nine inches of new snow ~ and my mom had to be somewhere this morning, so I decided I would plow before I did anything else. Got it finished, and she is off on her merry way ~ thank the powers that be! She is terrible to try and work with these days, she seems to always be in my way, and for whatever the reason, needs to have things explained more than once.
VERY frustrating, and I am afraid that I did not do a very good job of hiding said frustration.
**sigh** Lord, help me to do better.
We do get a break from one another, she will be dog/house sitting for the secretary at her church ~ they are off on an adventure to Israel for the next ten days. My prayers go with them, especially with all the unrest that is currently going on over there.
I need to go shovel at the barn, fill water troughs, and throw out some hay for the mid day munchies. I didn't get over there this morning because their driveway was probably just as bad as mine, only a LOT longer (theirs is about a 1/4 mile long) ~ I am happy that I took over the hay I did this weekend, I do not know how much longer I will be able to get a truck to the barn.
t2k was supposed to be coming over here ~ looks pretty grim, at least until I can get over there to get her with the four wheel drive. I've one I can use, I just have to go get it ~ means buying a battery though, and probably oil, antifreeze and various other stuffs.
**sigh** yeah. never rains but what it pours with the whole money thing.
So viggo, when you've finished your mate', we need to get on the ball and finish up the shoveling, in case the weather man is right, and it does rain for the next three days ~ Don't want the woodshed, toolshed, carport or anything like that to collapse under the weight...
Don't hurry on my account though... M'kay??
:*
Woke up to nine inches of new snow ~ and my mom had to be somewhere this morning, so I decided I would plow before I did anything else. Got it finished, and she is off on her merry way ~ thank the powers that be! She is terrible to try and work with these days, she seems to always be in my way, and for whatever the reason, needs to have things explained more than once.
VERY frustrating, and I am afraid that I did not do a very good job of hiding said frustration.
**sigh** Lord, help me to do better.
We do get a break from one another, she will be dog/house sitting for the secretary at her church ~ they are off on an adventure to Israel for the next ten days. My prayers go with them, especially with all the unrest that is currently going on over there.
I need to go shovel at the barn, fill water troughs, and throw out some hay for the mid day munchies. I didn't get over there this morning because their driveway was probably just as bad as mine, only a LOT longer (theirs is about a 1/4 mile long) ~ I am happy that I took over the hay I did this weekend, I do not know how much longer I will be able to get a truck to the barn.
t2k was supposed to be coming over here ~ looks pretty grim, at least until I can get over there to get her with the four wheel drive. I've one I can use, I just have to go get it ~ means buying a battery though, and probably oil, antifreeze and various other stuffs.
**sigh** yeah. never rains but what it pours with the whole money thing.
So viggo, when you've finished your mate', we need to get on the ball and finish up the shoveling, in case the weather man is right, and it does rain for the next three days ~ Don't want the woodshed, toolshed, carport or anything like that to collapse under the weight...
Don't hurry on my account though... M'kay??
:*
04 January 2009
Day 4 of 2009
LOL!!! I just realized that my titles look as though I am saying 2009 days... how funny.
I did not do so very much today ~ I did the whole day for the horses, my barn Land Lady had an emergency that kept her busy all day. I'm okay with it, she has covered for me more than once lately.
I have a beef about how some folks do their snow plowing ~ and it is truly a hazard. I do not understand why they think it is okay to blow their driveway accumulation out into the road ~ one, the county plow just pushes it alll back into the very end of the driveway, making these HUGE burms that have to be redone, and two? It is a hazard for the cars travelling up and down the road. As it is, most roads are pretty much down to one lane, so pushing the snow back out on the one lane makes it worse...
And the people that are the biggest offenders are the ones that complain the loudest about the counties' inability to do THEIR roads right.
fools.
okay ~ I did NOTHING today except take care of the horses. Slept a bit, read blogs, did emails, watched the cats be cats (B.C is not the brightest light in the universe) and FINALLY caught Harley hauling the rugs out into the snow ~ Duly punished him, but I do not think that it sunk in that I do not want the rugs outdoors. It didn't sink in (yet) that I do not want him to chew said rugs either, so my expectations are pretty low for him.
That could be my problem with him... no expectations? **sigh**
Lonely tonight for some reason, but I do not feel like talking to any one really. I do not want to come across as "needy" ~ that gets translated into "loser" waaaaaaaay to easy, and as I have a hard time with already knowing that I am a loser for being where I am at right now (yes, in everything) I do not want to add to that. SO!! I sit and be lonely, and try like hell not to eat everything in sight.
:p
I did not do so very much today ~ I did the whole day for the horses, my barn Land Lady had an emergency that kept her busy all day. I'm okay with it, she has covered for me more than once lately.
I have a beef about how some folks do their snow plowing ~ and it is truly a hazard. I do not understand why they think it is okay to blow their driveway accumulation out into the road ~ one, the county plow just pushes it alll back into the very end of the driveway, making these HUGE burms that have to be redone, and two? It is a hazard for the cars travelling up and down the road. As it is, most roads are pretty much down to one lane, so pushing the snow back out on the one lane makes it worse...
And the people that are the biggest offenders are the ones that complain the loudest about the counties' inability to do THEIR roads right.
fools.
okay ~ I did NOTHING today except take care of the horses. Slept a bit, read blogs, did emails, watched the cats be cats (B.C is not the brightest light in the universe) and FINALLY caught Harley hauling the rugs out into the snow ~ Duly punished him, but I do not think that it sunk in that I do not want the rugs outdoors. It didn't sink in (yet) that I do not want him to chew said rugs either, so my expectations are pretty low for him.
That could be my problem with him... no expectations? **sigh**
Lonely tonight for some reason, but I do not feel like talking to any one really. I do not want to come across as "needy" ~ that gets translated into "loser" waaaaaaaay to easy, and as I have a hard time with already knowing that I am a loser for being where I am at right now (yes, in everything) I do not want to add to that. SO!! I sit and be lonely, and try like hell not to eat everything in sight.
:p
We are under a "weather warning" for snow tonight. Oh yay. (not) It is only supposed to be 10 inches??? that is NOTHING compared to what we had by this time last year, and when I was younger, it wasn't unusual to get upwards of three FEET in one night. Those days are long gone I am afraid, lost to global warming and all that.
Worst part is always up on the Plateau ~ where the wind can make it dangerous ~ not only the wind chill but the drifting snow ~ I remember a few times when the road was obliterated by the drifts, and the draws would be filled in, but they'd swallow your car if you went off.
Scary stuff, and my girls are up there. I do NOT like it one little bit. zero. But as I can not offer anything better, I have to live with it.
At least until viggo buys me our house in the rockies someplace...
**sigh** yeah. house.
**shrug** weirder things HAVE happened, right?
so viggo ~ I'm off to knit, or stitch or something. Call me when you are ready for bed!
:*
Worst part is always up on the Plateau ~ where the wind can make it dangerous ~ not only the wind chill but the drifting snow ~ I remember a few times when the road was obliterated by the drifts, and the draws would be filled in, but they'd swallow your car if you went off.
Scary stuff, and my girls are up there. I do NOT like it one little bit. zero. But as I can not offer anything better, I have to live with it.
At least until viggo buys me our house in the rockies someplace...
**sigh** yeah. house.
**shrug** weirder things HAVE happened, right?
so viggo ~ I'm off to knit, or stitch or something. Call me when you are ready for bed!
:*
03 January 2009
Day 3 of 2009
**YAAAAWN**
okay, so did you manage NOT to yawn after you read that?? Admit it… you yawned too!!!
heh… I wonder what it is about yawning ~ even just reading the word makes you want to yawn… weird, eh??
It is now dark, and I have been on the phone a TON today. It is NUTZ because no one calls me for MONTHS and then they all call within three hours of one another.
I did nothing of import today~ I spent the day moving the hay stack. But to do so, I had to shovel the stack out over here, then I had to shovel the in door to the barn out so it would slide open far enough for the back end of the truck ~ AND!!!!! I only have the Ranger and the canopy is a pain in the ass to get on and off, (mom won’t let me take it off anyways…) so I can only take two bales over at a time. It makes for a lot of trips, but I do not have to depend on anyone to help me, ya know? THAT is a good thing, really. Now though, I want it to NOT snow, I have five more trips to go. All in all I am moving 2000 pounds of horse food.
The coming week is for finding work. There has to be something out there that I can do, eh??
Wait. The only thing I can’t do is wait tables. I drop things to easily. :P
Dinner time viggo, then we are hitting the sack early. I’m tired.
:*
02 January 2009
day 2 of 2009
It is beautiful here today ~ not too cold, a bit of wind but nothing serious, and the SUN! That alone was worth getting up for today.
I've been up since about 6 this morning, I couldn't sleep any longer. Sat with my coffee and just looked out the window at the snow and the light ~ Stayed that way until I went over to feed Budman, now I am just kind of chillin, trying to think what I am going to do with the day. I have things I want to do, but I have not the motivation to do any of them... a common theme these days for me. It is like I am waiting for some thing to happen...
**shrug** I dunno what I am waiting for ~ viggo maybe? Or someone like what I think he would be like?
just so you know, George Clooney runs a close second ;) (sorry George ~ I really DO love you too, but hey... I do not know if you ride horses??)
So the beginning of the year is supposed to have new beginnings in things, resolutions I believe they are called? As I am stumbling about with the "new" in my life already, I see absolutely NO reason to make resolutions. Zero, zip, nadda.
:)
The snow is blowing off the ridge across the valley ~ this huge sheet of it is now suspended above the ridge, and as the snow behind it blows up, it makes a twist ~ and the fallout is floating down onto the trees on my side of the ridge. Now there is a mini snow storm as the wind flows down the gully and into the small bowl ~ a small poofy looking cloud is forming ~ it is all made up of snow. It will hang there for a few I think, before settling back down into the depression ~it is a phenomenon that I see in that particular area this time of year. One day I may be able to get a picture of it ~ but until I can afford a new camera, I am out of luck.
That settling was pretty neat, the center of the cloud dropped out before the sides did, so there was this little doughnut shaped thing hanging on the ridge. :)
Mother nature can be such a bitch ~ but she can also provide some of the most beautiful things in the world. I do think that we are killing our world ~ there are things we can do, but much of it may be to late. Population is just to much, and with no natural enemies any more (with exception of ourselves) we will continue to overload the planet until something really drastic happens, and we've no longer any choices. (if you read The Road by Cormac McCarthy~ it is SCARY stuff!)
M'kay, off my soap box now. Personally, I am looking at getting/being somewhere that I can have my horses, raise livestock, have a huge garden to harvest and store... I could get off on that to be honest.
How to support such a project is a different thing. :p
**yawn** been doing this for half an hour, and I must get on with "things" ~ the main one now is to move the hay over to the barn before I can no longer drive UP to the barn. Not exactly sure where I will be able to place the stuff when I get there, but I do not want to haul 100 pound bales down a quarter mile road... THAT would stink.
The things I do for my animals... I swear.
Come on viggo, the coffee is gone, we can't stall any longer. Hay awaits.
:*
I've been up since about 6 this morning, I couldn't sleep any longer. Sat with my coffee and just looked out the window at the snow and the light ~ Stayed that way until I went over to feed Budman, now I am just kind of chillin, trying to think what I am going to do with the day. I have things I want to do, but I have not the motivation to do any of them... a common theme these days for me. It is like I am waiting for some thing to happen...
**shrug** I dunno what I am waiting for ~ viggo maybe? Or someone like what I think he would be like?
just so you know, George Clooney runs a close second ;) (sorry George ~ I really DO love you too, but hey... I do not know if you ride horses??)
So the beginning of the year is supposed to have new beginnings in things, resolutions I believe they are called? As I am stumbling about with the "new" in my life already, I see absolutely NO reason to make resolutions. Zero, zip, nadda.
:)
The snow is blowing off the ridge across the valley ~ this huge sheet of it is now suspended above the ridge, and as the snow behind it blows up, it makes a twist ~ and the fallout is floating down onto the trees on my side of the ridge. Now there is a mini snow storm as the wind flows down the gully and into the small bowl ~ a small poofy looking cloud is forming ~ it is all made up of snow. It will hang there for a few I think, before settling back down into the depression ~it is a phenomenon that I see in that particular area this time of year. One day I may be able to get a picture of it ~ but until I can afford a new camera, I am out of luck.
That settling was pretty neat, the center of the cloud dropped out before the sides did, so there was this little doughnut shaped thing hanging on the ridge. :)
Mother nature can be such a bitch ~ but she can also provide some of the most beautiful things in the world. I do think that we are killing our world ~ there are things we can do, but much of it may be to late. Population is just to much, and with no natural enemies any more (with exception of ourselves) we will continue to overload the planet until something really drastic happens, and we've no longer any choices. (if you read The Road by Cormac McCarthy~ it is SCARY stuff!)
M'kay, off my soap box now. Personally, I am looking at getting/being somewhere that I can have my horses, raise livestock, have a huge garden to harvest and store... I could get off on that to be honest.
How to support such a project is a different thing. :p
**yawn** been doing this for half an hour, and I must get on with "things" ~ the main one now is to move the hay over to the barn before I can no longer drive UP to the barn. Not exactly sure where I will be able to place the stuff when I get there, but I do not want to haul 100 pound bales down a quarter mile road... THAT would stink.
The things I do for my animals... I swear.
Come on viggo, the coffee is gone, we can't stall any longer. Hay awaits.
:*
01 January 2009
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